MAN-IMAL OR WO-MAN-IMAL?
Today,I’m kind of moving away from my conventional idea of what my animal theme and what an animal is supposed to be. I have been pretty much any animal you can get.
you name it I have been it.
The time when I have most felt like an animal was when I couldn’t speak. Don’t get me wrong, I understood everything that was going on around me.
I knew the parlez and slang too.
I just lost my voice. I didn’t even have a new voice to replace my wo-ma-nimal voice.
I think my affinity with animals is deep because I have been thrown in cells (mainly of the police kind) .
I’ve been shipped off to private hospitals to be treated and be case studies with my crazy animal genes.
Those who know me -will get this.
Who am I today?
An empowered, feminist who wears her heart on her sleeve.
Would I describe myself as an animal?
and if so why ?
The answer is yes. I am probably more in tune with more animals than people because animals are naturally sentient beings. So are humans but have you seen how in humane humans have become/
I’ve felt what it is like not to have free will -if you can get my meaning.
I’ve had my freedom taken away and now I have taken it back.
Today I’m buzzing.
I’m going ape shit crazily happy .
I didn’t think I would see this week through for various reasons.
Today, I went back to my roots.
The very start of my journey in the vast, exciting and terrifying world of volunteering with mental health charities.
Hope charity@ Caldredale Recovery college was where I got my first break and my first GIFT – check it out HERE. This was where I was shown how to and began to believe in myself .
Finally, I began to believe that I could go on to do things that I never even dreamed of doing. My prize was hope and passion and drive. I met a great bunch of people.
After doing some training and work with Hope , I had the opportunity to do a couple of workshops centred around stigma and mental health with the healthy minds open minds project . I have loved being a small part of this project.
I enjoyed being a part of HEALTHY MINDS RADIO SHOW
I have found our how committed I can be.
Recently, I have been on several challenging training sessions, geared at getting me to think “out side the box “and gain more perspective and insight into facilitating peer led support groups with healthy minds.
It’s not an easy role.
In fact it is one of the most difficult roles.
I’m currently waiting to go through my personal development file to see which direction I will go with Healthy minds. A well established and awesome charity.
Today ,I got to do more training with Hope charity, it was lovely to be around old friends. It was great to see how we had all grown and where we were up to. It was like coming home from an adventure.
I am so lame and I don’t care. I am going to share this with you because I have fucking earned it
TAH-DAH. I am officially on board with the NHS (National health service in the U.K.) volunteer books.
This is my equivalent to a VIP pass to a Celeb after party or the promo badge all areas access to a worldwide indie movie festival. This is what this feels to me. A small example of a measurement of commitment and effort..
Some people may go so what?
I go what?!
Here is a bit of insight into what this means to me.
I came from South Africa to the U.K.when I was 18 years old. Worked and lived in France, Barcelona and Miami for a bit and then established myself in the U.K. permanently when I was 21/22 years old.
I worked and had a rewarding job in the travel and tourism industry.
I hit all my targets.
I got sent on training events.
As I began to grow into my role, I was sent to conferences in places like Bulgaria, to establish connections and represent the brand of Travel care, ( a part of the defunct co-operative travel group- now owned by Thomas Cook)
…….and then I got ill.
I’ve been fighting my illness for over a decade to get back to some level of the success I experienced in my Travel career. It has been the longest drop down the rabbit hole and the climb up has been
and pretty fucking messy.
I’ve studied my ass off- I didn’t think anything else could top getting my BA degree,
apart from having my Bella B
me weeks away from getting married
being mega successful in a career
travelling – of course.
Oh, and having my child taken out of foster care and placed in my full time care again without the local authorities in my life.
It has taken me just over a decade to get to the place where I feel like I belong. I feel worthy again
I feel like I am back in my natural habitat.
I’ve worked hard to get to this point. And I am damn proud of myself. Somebody has to be.
I could have done a post on another type of animal . But in all honesty I have got to type down what is in my heart.
The queen of my mind is also the queen of my heart. I know so. I live in my mind and body.
So today. I’m having a huge party in my head. I’m sharing it ` with the entire blogo-sphere that I have something tangible that symbolises what my worth means to me again.
I will not lose my worth again.
So that is it.
I’m amped for another exciting project that I have heard about and will definitely be going to it next week. I don’t want to say too much. I don’t want to jinx anything. My creative side has been stirred and shaken and I have ideas.
I also get the opportunity to bounce ideas off other like minded people.
So I am not not going to miss any possible opportunities to live and be awesome and help others find a sense of worth and see their own awesomeness .
I always thought I would be the animal who would never be able to live in the wild again. I would need to be kept in a reserve of some kind.
A Daisy may be a weed – but it still breathes. It is an earthling. – you, me, animals,fish , spiders birds,plants and trees -all need oxygyn to survive.
While my heart still pumps blood and oxygen around my body and into my lungs. I aint going to give up.