Geese shake a tail feather
Why the hell are you going on about geese, Daisy?
I admit they strut around thinking they own the whole world. I’ve run away from a few in my time.
They can be ass holes but they were on the brink of extinction not so long back and now they have made such an epic come back . You don’t need to take a gander -they are everywhere – well in Canada 😀
Why the hell don’t they stick to their designated zone?
One answer: it ends with an Question.
Did you know that little baby gooslings learn how to migrate from their parents? This is not some inner ethereal instinctive knowing they have while they are cooking in the egg.
Yes, geese can fly.
But because of the whole extinction and save the geese for peace campaign -a lot of geese up north don’t really know how to fly.
TRUTH! I would not tell a lie.
SO, zeee the answer is we have inadvertently provided them with bright city street lights, they have no reason to go anywhere else.
Put your shot gun away! Trigger happy.
I say this because the short term answer most people have come up with is what is known as -Goose round ups.
It is not a chance for geese and humans to share a pint or some fancy cocktail and have a bitter of a natter.
THE TRUTH ABOUT GEESE ROUND UPS
Geese poop. A lot. Some “enlightened” folk have got it into their head that they poop so much they deserve to die for it. -bit harsh, wouldn’t you say? What about dogs, horses? Just saying….
Around mid-June – July time Geese in Canada start to moult. No feathers equal no flying.
This being the perfect time to organise a goose round up is when a goose is at it’s most vulnerable. We humans are a courageous and just bunch aren’t we ?
Okay so it’s not a social event and they loose out on a drink or too.
What is the worst that can happen.. Well, let me see ….. mmmh… now
They learn the goose step march very quickly and get put into crates -packed to capacity. No first class or business class on this journey.
They are a protested ( going to keep that spell check error) and protected species so they can”t be sold. Instead they are given to food banks.
How charitable! how noble is this killing?
The reason they got killed was because they poop and possibly because they do have wings and some trained wild geese do fly but to fuck us off do this instead.
Justify this rationally and humanely please?
The other geese are put in a gas chamber and killed slowly and then dumped into trash bags.
oh, how civilised! – some evil fuckers ship babies and let them loose in the wild in a strange country to fend for themselves.
Daisy it works- what else can we do? shit happens right?
Indeed, it does but we can do shit- humanely. Rounding up geese is a short term plan. It doesn’t really require expanded thinking. If these humans actually struck a light in that vast empty mind of theirs ,they would see , in a few months more geese moving in to take the place of the other slaughtered Geese. No goose stepping but a Harlem shuffle –
Now –let us step out of the box for a mojo.
What is needed is long term planning. check out Geese Peace
“an organization dedicated to building better communities through innovative, effective, and humane solutions to wildlife conflicts, has developed an effective template that communities can adopt”
Three key ways to solve your geese problems
Get you addle hat on. -Just put it on. I am going to explain
Humanely take eggs from a geese posse or treat it with corn oil. This is far more humane.
Because – it frees Geese from having to take their little flightless birds with them and it encourages them to move to another part of the world to do their geese thing. Whatever it is that geese do to pass the time on our planet
Part of this plan is
Or you could scare them off. Please take note some ways are better than others
Get a bunch of good doggie gangsters to kindly move them on their way. You lose humanity points if you allow the dogs to hurt a goose. They need to be trained.
Please put your empathy or sympathy cap on if you see that a new family have just hatched into the world. Give them a bit of time to get used to their environment so they can get skilled up and move on
You can go all matrix style and get state of the art goose laser scaring things to scare them off.
Chemical repellent works – make sure it is not toxic
One of the best ones is getting a recording of a goose who sounds like he is in the shit and playing that. Geese will go and defend him or just scare the shit out of them.
Get your gun and aim for the sky. Make sure their are no birds flying about first and fire – do not hurt any geese or other animals – this is a noise scare tactic. Not a slaughtering.
Got to leave you with this song. You may connect it with the post or not. I think the geese may like this song if you act more humanely and they may even start to dance but you won’t get to see that bit.