Expecting

Apr 3

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“I know what is its like to be afraid of your own mind and body ”  UNKNOWN   #FollowGreatFootsteps

WHY HAVE I CHOSEN THIS QUOTE?

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YAY!

 

It’s that time of month. I’ve stepped on the dreaded scales and put on weight.  Remember I have an eating disorder. Logic/science  dictates  that when  I am on  my period that I may  have fluid retention.

I’ve been researching about weight gain and I’m on day 3 now and  I should be weighing less according to reliable Google.  😀

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I’m sure I go through this every fucking month but I have selective amnesia. My mind has  compelled me to think   the weight gain has nothing to do with my period. I’ve just got fatter!

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SHOULDN’T I WEIGH  LESS NOW! SCALES BE RATIONAL.

 

MIND FUCK!

My partner has to  live with me and my obsession over weight. He always tells me my weight will go down -it always does.  I want to rip his gonads off him when he says this because my mind is fucking with me, my clothes are tight.

 

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THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO MY PARTNER WHO NEVER STOPS EATING CAKE AND NEVER PUTS ON WEIGHT. EVER!

 

 

I exercise daily.

I shouldn’t put on weight.

I’ve lost control. My eating disorder rules me for the next 7 days.

Isn’t that like how long it took to create the world?

Periods and creating the world are pretty epic ,monumental moments.

What if it is true weight gain?

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I guess you have fathomed out that I am not a happy Daisy.  These are the times I miss being so underweight because I don’t have to worry about  my periods. I don’t get them. I don’t want to be anorexic again.

I WANT THE SCALES TO GO DOWN TO MY SAFE WEIGHT ZONE AGAIN!

Is it too much to ask?

 

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About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on 2016-04-03, in INSPIRED BY MY MUSE, WRITE TO RECOVER and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. Co | 2016-04-05 at 3:05 pm

    When God was on His/Her period He/She created the world. When you are on yours, you create the ability to do it all over again. The power within the womb-man is incredible – for this is the creation of creative consciousness. Without the cleansing of the womb, (the _____*^$$*), there would be no ability to create consciousness and thereby recreate the world. I know. This is heavy.

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  2. Mary Cathleen Clark | 2016-04-04 at 4:37 pm

    Men can eat more than us and not gain weight…it’s not fucking fair!!!
    Your post did make me laugh, though. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. lynne hoareau | 2016-04-03 at 11:59 am

    Hey Daisy, we all go through that weight thing each month. You will be fine, but trust me I know what you are feeling. I know the scales, should be thrown, but we need scales. And what is with your partner never putting on weight? That is so not fair.
    How did the wedding ring hunting go? Find something nice?
    Enjoy your workout. By the way, what is your workout regime?
    Happy Sunday to you. x

    Liked by 1 person

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    • DaisyWillows | 2016-04-03 at 1:34 pm

      I feel like banning cake and sweets from the house. How dare he not put on weight and when he does he looks even hotter! Thank for the advice about the Tunstyn ring. My G has found one with a bit of wood in the centre – it is so cheap compared to the price we were looking at. The wedding is getting close. If it weren’t for my Mom and my Nan. I would be a nervous wreck. Oh wait, I am! hhahah. I can’t handle the gym. Don’t know about you? Ihave to do do fun stuff like this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ministry-Of-Sound-Ultimate-Workout/dp/B000HOJEQU. Got a few of these and it makes me feel sexy too 😉 haha. Emphasise on makes me ‘feel’ – thanks for taking time out of oyur Sunday to cheer me up. A bit of distraction does wonders – you have a great day xx

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      • lynne hoareau | 2016-04-03 at 2:00 pm

        Thanks 🙂 Going to check that dvd, out…. Gym’s and all those people freak me out, it is more of a fashion parade than anything, lets see who has the best bling, sort of thing, so I try do stuff at home, and it is nice to change it up a bit with different stuff (I get bored) xxx

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  4. lisamariagardiner | 2016-04-03 at 9:47 am

    Ditch those scales beautiful Daisy 😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. theutopiauniverse | 2016-04-03 at 8:26 am

    Morning Daisy, one of those days eh… don’t worry tomorrow is another day ! And as you go on your journey which you are doing great at, by the way, the more you will love yourself and you know what you are worth, so, come on todays Sunday, be happy …………………..remember you are who you are your unique, only one Daisy……..lucky Daisy who is getting married real soon, !!!! Be happy xx

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    • DaisyWillows | 2016-04-03 at 8:48 am

      Thanks for this. You are a bit of a gem. I still need to fit in my wedding dress 😀 -I don’t mind turning into a walking rotund cake after 😀 . Yes, I ma making myself miserable. It’s got to stop. Work out time. Need a natural high.. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to keep fit so see,I am looking at the silver lining 🙂

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  6. crazycatmamablog | 2016-04-03 at 8:07 am

    I imagine it’s hard to deal with an eating disorder. I want to tell you to throw away the scales, you don’t need them, you’re beautiful no matter your size, big, small, thin, large. It doesn’t matter. But i know with a disorder it’s much harder to do. Just know that I’m sending you positive vibes ✌💜

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    • DaisyWillows | 2016-04-03 at 8:51 am

      I know it doesn’t matter compared to everything else going on in my world. I wish I could just throw them away.I am tempted. My parnter threatens to have serious ‘chats’ with the scales. He is dying to throw them out. Maybe one day ….. If only my rational mind was not so swayed by my emotions and what I attach my emotions to -Scales and weight. Thanks for the vibes. I’m feeling it xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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  7. Shreya Sharma | 2016-04-03 at 7:59 am

    Oops!! Everything is so true.!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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