Every Christmas it was a tradition in our family to celebrate with plenty of seafood.

One Christmas eve, I can recall walking into the kitchen and I heard this horrible screeching sound. It was emanating from a boiling pot on the stove with steam rising out of it.

I knew that whatever was in that pot was crying out in pain.  I didn’t know how to stop it so I burst out crying. My Mom came into the kitchen, asked what was up with me

“Why are they crying? They are we hurting them?’

My Ma patted me on the head.

“Silly girl. They can’t feel pain – it’s just their shells that make that  noise in boiling water.”

Oh silly me.

I read an article a few years back explaining that scientists have discovered that crustaceans feel pain.

This article confirmed what I already believed.

The aim of my post is to inform you.  Not guilt trip you.

This is what I have learned about Crabs

• They are more complex than we give them credit for

• They have the ability to learn

• When one part of their body dies they don’t immediately  die. They feel pain and this could mean that the pain they feel is long and drawn out, unlike vertebrae. If you shoot a vertebrae in the brain it will probably die instantly. The crab’s nervous system does not allow them to die by killing off one part of its body. They don’t have a spine.

There is research that has looked at inhumane ways of killing and possibly found a more humane way to kill them -if you wish to eat them.

Here is the science bit

Crabs have the same kind of or some form of pain-relieving system that most other animals have.

 Hi, I’m crabby, the crab.

I have just been caught for research purposes.

Every time I go to a certain place in my new home I get an electric shock. I’ve done this,  oh,say about several times now and I remember not to go back to that specific place in my  new home because it fucking hurts. Now I know I am am a hardcore mofo…

So, scientists, this experiment proves I have a memory.

Finally, I have been reclassified as a sentient being who feels pain. This means researchers are now looking at ways to decrease any suffering I may feel before I become your next meal.  So how do we deal with this?

I, crabby, the crab is far luckier than say my fellow lobster because I only have two separate nervous systems so you can spike me and I won’t feel too much pain,  Now, my other fellows from the ghetto are not so lucky and have at least four nervous systems so,

 humans, yes you!

Let’s get humane about killing – okay?

A definition of humane killing

“As with mammals, a humane slaughter is one that results in an immediate loss of consciousness, or if slow acting, induces unconsciousness without discomfort or pain. This unconsciousness should persist until death intervenes http://fishcount.org.uk/welfare-of-crustaceans/welfare-during-killing-of-crabs-lobsters-and-crayfish

Let’s take a look at traditional methods still used to kill  to eat me or my brethren, Luke, the lobster:

BOILING

I struggle violently and it takes two long excruciating minutes to die. I have seen my friends trying to crawl out of the boiling water because I’m still fucking living and been boiled alive!

CHILLING

I remember going camping with my Dad to some cool place near the ocean. We were in the car, driving to our destination and in the middle of the road was one of the biggest crabs I have ever seen. My Dad and his mates got out the car. They turned the car off first obviously. Picked up the crab and threw it in the beer and meat chiller. I don’t think he was chilling in quite the same way we do. I think he may have said:

As a Crab, I ask you not to do this. I will go into osmotic shock- it fucking makes me pass out and you need to be a scientist to know the exact temperature I need not feel pain.

There are many other ways that you may think I am not hurting.

SPIKING

CHILLING – not the kind of chilling I am into.

CARBON DIOXIDE GASSING

FRESHWATER IMMERSION

ANAESTHETICS 

How do we know if we or any other earthling is in pain?

Look at my behaviour. If I’m thrashing around and screeching and generally am not die instantly. I’m in pain.  Maybe I am showing you what we humans call “emotions”.

Something to think about.

So here is the deal. Eat me but please let me have a choice in how I die so that I will suffer less.

Stun me– instant death,

or at the very least drug me. give me an anaesthetic.

I don’t want a salt bath, I don’t want to be put into varying degrees of temperature that cause me to go into shock and hurt me.  I may be unconscious after a chilled bath but then  I come round all dazed and confused and you gonna spike me or cut me and I am going to feel it.

Don’t warn me!   That is what you are doing with that knife- warning me.

If you are going to kill me, respect that you can kill me humanely.