I’m great at talking and socialising and being compassionate..
I struggle with telling my partner what he means to me.
I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed last night and I had this urge to tell him all the things I keep meaning to tell him but then I never act on it and forget.
I kissed my Bella bee and Tatiana good night and ran down the stairs. G was sweeping the carpet.
“Hold it. Stop what you are doing. Don’t move. Don’t approach me . I have something to say. ” Cringing inside. –am I such a retard with emotions related to men? –
I felt like I was speaking the language of love in German and nott something flowy like french.
My partner thankfully knows me -well. He literally froze- in a comical way.
I had his full attention.
I didn’t have my contacts in or glasses on .
Can’t see his expression – dammit!
” First of all. I can’t see you. I don’t have my contacts in. Second of all; (very long pause) ,I know I am not great at expressing my emotions and telling you how I feel….”
All those thoughts I had to tell him had gone down the toilet. I closed my eyes shut, clenched my fists, opened them an with a look of exasperation looked to the sky.
” I’ve completely forgot what I was going to say but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you do. You help me look after our home. You help raise our daughter. I know we don’t have any money but we still have goals. The thing is we have a beautiful family and we will live in a better home one day. I do love you…. “
G got up off the floor and wrapped his arms around me. Okay – this is getting a bit soppy now. I had to break it:
” Well it appears my black heart of stone has melted somewhat”
It’s a “just us” kind of joke ( sorry you are not invited :D) . We have a really good banter. We laugh at each others jokes and shit.
I said goodnight and ran back upstairs. Later on he crept into his side of bed and held me.
” You will never know what you said means to me” kissed my head and let me sleep.
The point or message is don’t be backwards like me. If you are in a relationship- Bloody communicate!
If you want to tell someone you love them, ring them up tell them -don’t wait. It feels awkward but once it is out,that person – no matter what happens in the next moments or days after that,knows they are valued.
'Words are my everything' - JonWayne .
Writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & free style works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs.
She is also passionate raising anti stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facillitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland
Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee.
She has had a colourful life.
Natasha co-owns a second hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Lltd
Natasha was born in South African & is a French national.
She currently resides in the UK
Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities.
A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing.
She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance.
She is currently working on her first novel (semi autobiographical creative non fiction).
She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one'
Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too.
Light , peace & Love!
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