Secret words

‘I  have given you words of vision and wisdom more secret than hidden mysteries.Ponder them in the silence of your soul and then in freedom do your will’ Bhagavad Gita

Why have I chosen this quote?


My fears were indeed unfounded. I think of my psychiatrist  when  I decided to use this quote. Yesterday,



We are open and honest with one another. The beauty of this kind of relationship  is he leaves the control of how I use the concoction of medication I am on in my control under his guidance of course.

I don’t know many doctors who do this.

Yes, I am on far too many anti anxiety tablets.

Addictive ones. I have been on them for years.

I know there is day that I need to get off them.

There never seems to be a right time. I need to create that time.

Doctor J. put the words out there:

” You are on too many benzos”

(panic starts its drum) .I acknowledge this.

We talk about factors that may explain why I am still not stable (as I have been) with my moods .

  1. not eating correctly

  2. been on the same antidepressants for  over 10 years

  3. the pharmacist’s mistake in the dosage one of my mood stabilisers

  4. Benzo’s make you depressed.

So what is the plan?


The plan:

  • Up the mood stabiliser.

  • Think about reducing one of the Benzos by a half -a tiny little speck of a half

  • . Follow up with my C.P.N. three weeks from now.

  • Gauge if the increase in the mood stabiliser is working.

  • Decide how I want this to play out.

  • do I feel ready to start reducing the benzo’s?

No! (my automatic response)

Okay, chill, Daisy there is no pressure.

GO back to the quote:

The seed has been planted.-  I have received ‘the words and vision more secret than hidden mysteries’

‘Ponder them in the silence of your soul and then in freedom do your will

 It is only my will that can lead me to true freedom.

How many other doctors do you know who are like this with their patients?

He trusts me. I  do honestly try to use the least amount of benzos in a day. If I want to have another child after I am married.

I do!

I will not repeat past mistakes.

My next child may not be so lucky. He or she may go through severe ,life threatening withdrawals.

I was ignorant the first time round. I have learnt the lesson.

My child is a daily reminder of what I wish for her and my future children.


So, for now. I get back to my passions: volunteering and training, get my confidence and focus back- then I  am in a stronger position  to make   a decision that will benefit me in the long run.

I read so many other posts where people with Mental health issues don’t get the kind of support and trust I get.

Yes,I am blessed.

I am also honest( to a fault).

There is some kind of message here: Not speaking up for  Fear and acknowledgement of how we cope, can be a natural reaction to protect our mind.





 the word- petrifies me

 What will I do without xyz.?

Anorexia and many other Mental health illnesses have a strong component of control as a symptom. The way to empower us to to give us some control over how we want to be treated and how we don’t want to be treated.

I put together a WRAP plan last year –  my whole professional support team have signed it.

It includes

  • what makes me happy

  • Triggers

  • coping mechanisms

  • early warning signs that all is not well

  • breaking down signs

  • crisis plan

  • treatment plan

  • post crisis plan.

WRAP TESTIMONIAL CLIP      ( it may just be the best gift you ever give yourself or to someone you love. All it costs is a bit of time and effort, I contributed to this testimonial )

I think more mental health professionals should move towards this approach. When a person with mental health issues is relatively well, that person is the only person who knows what will get them back on track.

 I know I am going on a bit here


if we do a bit of work on ourselves and find out what makes us tick -we stand a better chance over improving our mental health and our quality of life.

Just an opinion from a person who has mental health.

Don’t I mean mental health ‘issues’


Do you have a mind?


Then you have mental health.


Different  life scenarios and experiences  constantly change, so that you are always sliding along a mental health spectrum between good mental health and bad mental health.

 I have bills to pay and grocery shopping to do today, I neeed to get my booty in to action.

So for now, to  a person  reading this, who doesn’t think they are susceptible to poor mental health;

I propose an exercise.


 A challenge, if you will..

Where would you be on the scale of mental health?  ( good feeling 100% well – bad being  0%)  if

  • your cat/dog died

  • you got a job promotion

  • you got divorced

  • you won the lottery

  • you child is bullying at school

  • you find out your loved one is dying from an illness

  • you win tickets to go see your favourite band

  • you fall pregnant

  • you need to move home

  • you are moving to a new country


Just something to think about.


Can’t wait to read what other people are thinking about, what is going on in your lives and everything thing else. Thanks for reading.  Time to hit the real world and get broke!


About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on Mar 10, 2016, in THOUGHTS and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. I’m glad you were able to do this for yourself, DaisyWillows. You’re an inspiration. Thank you for reminding me how important it is to take time out to ponder my mental, spiritual, and physical needs. I am admittedly out of touch.

    Your Bhagavad Gita quote really spoke to me!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing. Mind if I blather?
    All kinds of thoughts went through my mind when I read this. So now I’m just going to let them spill out. No judgement. Just thoughts. …hopefully something important.
    There are all kinds of chemicals in our body that regulate our emotions and bodily functions. When we go through extreme emotions at some point in our lives these chemicals are thrown off creating what we call a chemical imbalance. Sometimes it moves into hormonal imbalance, and even imbalance within the electrical synapses and bodily functions.
    The main culprit in any one of these chemical imbalances is fear. When we deal with trauma, either imposed or self-willed, the natural balance of the body is set off and put out of whack.
    Well anyway, There is a natural reset to this system as well. It is usually a process of first acknowledging where the fear that caused the imbalance came from in the first place, acknowledging the fear, realizing that to continue to live in the fear is a lie, and then moving outside of that fear continuum. There. We have just reset the balance of life.
    If the fear is gone. The balance returns, and the need for drugs to cover up the effects disappears as well. With a little faith that all can be returned to normal, that fear is not a permanent condition. Everyone can be made perfectly whole.
    I’ve witnessed this in so many cases.
    One last item. Many do not have the strength of character to realize Source as a component within their own soul that is capable of reconciling any destructive past. For this reason, many have faith in an external God or Source that they rely on to make this transition from fear to trust. Either way works. The power is within to return to balance. All one has to do is connect to it and claim it. The rest will rearrange itself.


    • Hi ART -wise words as usual. Yes I must find the courage within myself and pay more attention to my triggers. Bipolar runs in my family and so does thyroid issues – over and under active thyroid. I never thought of FEAR being a major culprit in chemical imbalances but how you have explained it makes sense- fear sets off that primitive part of our brain – the amygdala? I think. I know I will get off these medications. I have a strong character. I believe that they have done untold damage over the years to my brain. Thank you for your insight :0 always appreciated 🙂


  3. stephieann8

    I just started going to a therapist and psychiatrist last December. I was against going on meds but my psychiatrist said it would help. I have been fighting him against raising it. I actually want to ween off and it’s a back and forth objection. I don’t feel they really help me but when I don’t take them I get really dizzy. I don’t know what I need. I just want my depressed days to go away. My thyroid is also off which I learned last week can also bring your mood down. We’ll see. Great post 🙂


    • Well I am not sure of the ins and outs of your condition. These days there is more of a holistic approach to treating illness. If I could start over and make choices about how I dealt with my issues -I would have chosen to explore different options to help maintain mental well being. I do thin medication has a place but there are so many other treatments out there that should be tried too. My Ma has an over active thyroid. she too has Bipolar and it really makes it hard to control her illness. So she feels she needs to take hormone tablets because it helps regulate her moods. What kind for medication are you on, if you don’t mind me asking? Sorry I’m super nosy 🙂 . Thanks for reading my posts 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Nice post! I have been a therapist for 20 years. I highly recommend exercise! It boosts the feel good hormones and burns off the anxiety promoters. I exercise everyday! I think of it as my antidepressant!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are so right about exercise. I have been using exercise for 4 years now as a coping mechanism and it is probably one of the main methods I keep stable. I too exercise everyday but I need more balance with what I put into my body. 🙂 thanks for commenting and giving some valuble advice.

      Liked by 1 person

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