‘The fields of panic’ – a 639 word novel by Daisy Willows

OH MY POOR GOLLY GOSH! (that sounds so lame- bear with me)

I have only just seen in my inbox that I have signed up for Blogging 201 and Writing 101! I’m obviously thrilled to bits but it is the 2nd of November and I have not wrote one single word for Nanowrimo yet !

Life has a dreadful habit of getting in the way. I’m not including important people in my life although they can take up well spent time too. I refuse to give in or give up. Need a powerful inspiring song  

Although the above song does make me feel more like a machine.

This may be a teeny tiny better

– It resonates more with my topic  of the day.   It is rather- no terribly cheesy though….

I don’t know if it is just little old moi but I have tragic, disabling thoughts of my capacityand my ability to write well. I should be really inspired since I got a damn good result for my final 30 credit module of – ‘Advanced creative writing’ at uni. I get panic attacks ( perhaps I am slightly dramatising this) about writing for the monthly article in the  ‘Healthy minds’ newsletter. I’m always rather shocked when people think my content is great! I know my writing is not great in the sense that writing an article for the top newspaper would be. However, praise is praise right?

I have these expectations that because I identify myself as a writer I should be banging out whopper stories and cracking posts- daily. Does anyone do this?  I can’t write a credible short story of 200- 2500 in say, one day. I would need a lot of editing to make sure the story develops and reads as something I   would want to put to the public.

Life this week consists of:

  • Household shopping and looking for my graduation dress ( my gradation is  this Friday)
  • A dentist appointment and a catch up with an important individual
  • Week 6 of WRAP – three hour session – and updating it on to my WRAP  page
  • Paying monthly bills ( I am rather retro  and old fashioned when I pay my bills- no on-line shenanigans  for me)
  • Actively working with my daughters pre school to get her out of full time nappies
  • buying a new mirror on a super tight budget ( I only broke my fave mirror in my bedroom a couple of days ago) NO I AM NOT SUPERSTITIOUS ABOUT THIS AT ALL (I don’t know if I am being sarcastic or not about this)
  • doing Blog 201  and Writing 101
  • getting anything down to hit my word target with Nanowrimo
  • Graduation in Manchester ( most of the time will be spent trying to find a hat for photos)
  • getting out the way of my hubby to be – He is currently re decorating our home
  • Going to visit my cousin (who is ill at moment)
  • Getting my hair done
  • mindful of not spending too much dosh due to wedding  fund
  • Normal work

It might not look like a lot, however, if you add into the mix the pressure I put on myself to get everything perfect and having my finances in order, along with the pressure of finding a dress that makes me look -va va voom- in a non photo shopped way. Add this to the 101 million Bipolar led  thoughts telling me to have it all done RIGHT NOW- YESTERDAY!

Is that such a hard thing to ask?

Is that such a hard thing to ask for graduation? I want to look and feel amazing!

So, in my head I have it all figured out- actually I don’t. I am not much of a planner. I am more impulsive and spontaneous.

Wish me luck all , I am going to need it.

P.S. I will be not be needing  to drink more than one  cheeky cocktail by the end of this week. I am not  puffing on my E-vape constantly- at all.  Also I have  not contemplated increasing my nicotine at all. I did not  have sexual relations with that  woman!  Honest…….

Posted on Nov 2, 2015, in poetry, WRITE TO RECOVER and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Wow, you’ve sure got a lot on. If you can’t do it all, it’s because you’re only human.


  2. good luck sweetie!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. congrats on graduation! As for the rest… Take a deep breath. You can do it!!

    Liked by 1 person

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