Monthly Archives: Oct 2015

I, do

I can’t believe it! I have not turned into a Bridezilla like I thought I would. Today was all about my beautiful bridesmaids and my precious flower /birdseed girl. My niece to be and my Goddaughter have chosen exquisite dresses in theme with the pale lemon colour. I also got my wish to get my dresss taken out a half-inch. I can’t believe my dress went up so easily. I have been panicking so much, that I have nearly put my knee out exercising like a freaky deeky meekly EEKey!

Everything is happening so quickly. Life? oh, Life? can I pause for a mojo?

I am starting to worry about the music, the small decorations. favours, makeup, hair, photography and sorting out our vows. I’m thinking of personal vows.I still have no idea what my other half is wearing. He won’t tell me!  Isn’t a bit bizarre that in the U.K.  you can’t have any sort of church music because we are not getting married in a church!? Does that include Amazing grace? I love that song. This being my favourite version

So many songs to choose from…….. Our wedding theme is New Orleans high tea with a subtle 70’s vibe – it’s a sunflower theme. I’m thinking of getting silk bouquets made up. Have you seen them?  Maybe something simple like this………..  and For the men,, perhaps……….

We found this awesome music compilation. I’m not sure how to get it onto an iPod or memory stick. HELP SOMEONE!


I did start to think I had more severe mental health problems. I couldn’t get excited about it.  I started to wonder if I had signed a deal with some demon – I had no emotions about our upcoming wedding.

Finally, I’m getting into the wedding groove… Still can’t believe I am going to be a bride. I vowed never to get married- EVER!

Life has a queer sense of humour. So why not humour it and get in the driving seat?

P.S. I have already ordered my mojito cocktail for the reception.

The pharmacist

I am reeling. I am on medication. I have been for a long time and I take mine because I value my mental well-being and my life.  I collect my meds monthly.  At the beginning of October I collected my meds as usual- a week into taking them I noticed that one of them did not add up to last me all month. I called my pharmacy/drug store and I was told that all that was owed to me was 7 tablets. I said that is impossible. I only have enough for a certain amount of days. My partner looked in the bin. I l searched high and low and couldn’t find them. I cut down on my meds and I even have had to have days where I couldn’t take it at all. I even questioned if I could have taken over 50 tablets without me knowing! I have had severe panic and anxiety attacks most days for a month.  I have had paranoid induced anxiety attacks. I have even thought of calling off our wedding because my thoughts were so severe and abnormal. I have had a seizure. I have been a wreck. 

Last night my Mom went to collect my meds for me on her way home. She rang me to say that they didn’t give her all my medication as it was only due today. Fine, I am cool with that. What they did give her were items owing to me dated from the 03/10. The same day I collected my meds with a large portion missing. They gave my Mom  56 tablets that some one had put in the wrong place. My missing meds have been with my pharmacy all month and they only thought to inform me when my Mother collected them last night. 

I am not going crazy as I believed. I rang them and I gave it to them. I was told I needed to speak to the manager with respect. I said fine. 

Mr Pharmacist, you are in a highly respected role of dispensing the correct medication that is prescribed by a Doctor to the patient. I could have died. I know that sounds overdramatic but it is true! I have had a month of anxiety attacks, thinking I am going crazy amongst other awful side effects. You might not value my mental well being however I  do. I value my life and I value being able to live my life as stable as possible. You can’t point the blame at me. You come across as condescending and you need to retrain your staff and possibly yourself. I have every right to take this higher and am well within my rights to write a formal letter of complaint. You cannot tell me I can’t . Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. One cannot exist without the other. I will be collecting my medication today and making sure every tablet is there, as I don’t trust how you operate a system which has a duty of care to get my medication right and to me on time.

I will not make a scene in front of other customers but you must address where you have gone wrong. Identify who got it wrong and think about re-hiring someone who can dispense medication. Front house staff should know what bis going on ‘behind the scenes’. They should not have the Duh! the approach of ‘ The computer doesn’t work therefore I can’t work’. 



Making Connections -Mental Health charities

I finally got to have a meeting with the co-founder of a charity that I am hoping to do more work with. I arrived early and I bumped into a lady I’m currently in contact with via another awesome charity. She took the time to tell me that her and another lady I have been working with, think I am ‘a true leader, I’m inspiring, articulate, I have great empathy and great presence.’

She is hooking me up with an advanced creative writing specialist in our locality to co-produce some work. I’m so excited!

I’m making connections and it feels so empowering to be in this position. I got across a few ideas I had for what I feel is needed in my locality. I have hit another milestone on my journey and I am getting to do some incredible work  Mental health charities. It doesn’t stop. There is a  close- to- my -heart group I and yet another wonderful person are working together with, to resurrect this successful and much needed support group back in my area.

I will say that it is in regards to mental health issues and being a mother and not living with their child/ren for a multiple and variety of reasons. All the shit I go through is not in vain.  I would not be in a position to offer my time to people who may benefit from it if it weren’t for my life story and shit.  My own work in the writing field is being looked at with integrity. I couldn’t ask for more. 

Last week I went to parents evening with my other half. My daughter is currently doing maths and literacy at the 5/6-year-old level. My daughter turned 4 yrs old this October. Apparently, she is a social butterfly just like her great Nan and Great Grandma. I’m the total opposite- a recluse. I choose who gets to use my energy. Every day I am learning which people I won’t be likely to give much energy to any longer and which people I will. I’m learning to be kind to myself. 

I’m getting to work creatively with people with the same kind of vision as myself. I’m am blessed and I am going to pat myself on the back. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right? 


I mostly write with a rather intensity that people may not always appreciate. I want people to see that I do have a balanced view and every so-called negative thing that has happened in my life is being used for a greater purpose. One that will affect me and hopefully others in a more creative and inspiring way.  On that note-  have an epic. awesome and grand week.   I know I say/write  it a lot- but ‘ always, always look for the silver lining….’ 

Do you have a song that  makes you happy? Or even more than one?